Baseball Buses Shot At

Found this on the Fox News website:

Indians Pitcher Kyle Denney Shot
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A Cleveland Indians (search) pitcher was shot in the right calf when a bullet pierced the team's bus and grazed another player late Wednesday night.

Team trainers were able to remove the bullet from the calf of Kyle Denney (search), who was expected to spend the night in the hospital but was not seriously hurt, club spokesman Bart Swain said.

The rest of the team was unharmed. The shooting occurred as the team rode to Kansas City International Airport after a game with the Kansas City Royals (search).

Swain said the shot was fired into the side of one of the Indians' two buses while it was on a ramp between Interstate 435 and I-70, grazing outfielder Ryan Ludwick.

"It went through his pants and then hit Denney," Swain said. "At first, there was a little bit of panic. Once we realized Kyle was OK, fears were subsided."

Police spokesman Darin Snapp said there were no suspects and it wasn't known if the team's bus was the intended
target.
- Full Article

"Sticks and Stones may Break Israeli Bones..."

Quote of the day. I guess you could call it a "Palestinian Proverb". Heh.

Sticks and stones may break Israeli bones, but tanks will roll over me.
- Audie, 1st hour

Yeah right...

Just the title of this AP article makes me roll my eyes and go "bullshit":

U.S. rules out covert influence in Iraq election
White House says it won't secretly back pro-U.S. candidates

Sure it won't. As though they couldn't do so without us noticing anyway (at least until the pro-U.S. candidate gets elected) the behind the scenes influence. There is always behind the scenes influence, and them trying to deny that they won't seems to promote the opposite -- that they will.

CRAWFORD, Texas - The White House says it considered secretly backing pro-U.S. candidates in the upcoming Iraqi election, but decided
against it even though the Bush administration suspects other nations are working to influence the voting.

Right... We're even admitting that we considered it. I guess this is some sort of ass covering attempt so that we look "good" by not using realistically possible behind the scenes influence. This is like saying the Pharmaceutical lobbyists have had no behind the scenes influence on the denouncement of getting drugs for cheap from Canada.

“There have been and will continue to be concerns about efforts by outsiders to influence the outcome of the Iraqi elections, including
money flowing from Iran,” White House spokesman Allen Abney said Sunday.

So, we've been pumping money into Iraq from our asses for a year and a half now. By that logic we already have influenced the elections heavily.

“And in the final analysis, we have adopted a policy that we will not try to influence the outcome of the upcoming Iraqi election by covertly
helping individual candidates for office.”

I find it interesting that there is more of a concern about whether or not a Pro-U.S. government comes to power than whether or not the decision is made freely by the people (as though it ever is when it comes to elections between a few elite candidates).

A senior administration official said that deciding whether to covertly support certain candidates in the election scheduled for January was a “hard call.”

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the White House consulted lawmakers before deciding against the idea, which
was first reported by Time.

Boom. There's what prompted this "decision", this "statement". Because TIME blew the whistle on what they will still probably do behind the scenes (it is called behind the scenes since only an elite few know its going on -- i.e. NOT the public or media).

“I don’t discuss covert programs, but I will say that we do have overt programs, and everybody knows about them,” Powell said.

“We will be providing assistance for capacity building in parties so that we can see a political system come alive, in both Iraq and Afghanistan, and we’ll be doing it overtly,” Powell said.

>> Full Article (MSNBC)

Helping them make their own poilitical system by helping build the parties. I guess its more of a deciding which party gets to be a major one and which gets to be a smaller. AND he says "I don't discuss covert programs." Sounds like that means there is one by that since he seems to acknowledge it's existence.

Yeah, I'm really skeptical when it comes to any political government. That's a given. I'm not one to blindly trust the "goodness" of the establishment. I'm just recognizing it for what it is, not denouncing it. I'm just entertained by its attempts to sugar coat reality and fool the gullible in an effort to maintain it's own existence through public "stability".

State of Mind, Effect of Angst, Forgiveness,

The other night at work I bought the latest NEWSWEEK magazine, whose cover story is "The New Science of Body and Mind". Parts of it I thought were interesting.

Brain Check
Imagine you're allergic to the oil of the Japanese lacquer tree -- so allergic that the brush of a leaf against your skin provokes an angry rash. Strapping a blindfold over your eyes, a scientist tells you she's going to rub your right arm with lacquer leaf and your left arm with
the innocuous leaf of a chestnut tree. The rubbing commences, and before long your right arm is covered with burning, itchy welts. Your left side feels fine. No surprise, until you learn that your left arm-not the right-is the one that got lacquered. Or imagine that Parkinson's disease has reduced your walk to a shuffle and left your hands too shaky to grasp a pencil. You enroll in a study and receive an experimental surgical treatment, which dramatically improves both your gait and your grip. You're ready to declare it a miracle of modern medicine, when you discover that the operation was a sham. The surgeons merely drilled a small hole in your skull and then patched it.

That thoughts and feelings can affect our health is hardly news. In the span of a few decades, mind-body medicine has evolved from heresy into something approaching cliché. So why is NEWSWEEK devoting this
Health for Life report to the mind-body connection? Because the relationship between emotion and health is turning out the be more interesting, and more important than most of us could have imagined. Viewed through the lens of 21st-century science, anxiety, alienation and hopelessness are not just feelings. Neither are love, serenity and optimism. All are physiological states that affect our health just as clearly as obesity or physical fitness. And the brain, as the source of such states, offers a potential gateway to countless other tissues and organs--from the heart and blood vessels to the gut and the immune system. The challenge is to map the pathways linking mental states to
medical ones, and learn how to travel them at will.
- pgs 45 - 46

It's all about state of mind. You may think you're stupid, or that you're sick, but its sometimes all in your mind, and not actually a reality.

How the Body Harms Itself
Humans have evolved a complex system for responding to danger. While these fight-or-flight responses served our ancestors well, they can lead to long-term health problems in modern-day environments.

SHORT-TERM EFFECTS
Stimulus: When it senses a potential threat, a loud noise or a shadopwy figure on a dark street, the brain initiates a cascade of events that readies the body for action.

Hypothalamus: In response to warning signals, this structure secretes a chemical called CRH that stimulates the nearby pituitary gland.

Pituitary: The gland makes a molecule called ACTH, which travels to the adrenal glands.

Adrenal glands: The glands release cortisol. This hormone helps keep up blood sugar, giving the body extra
energy to act.

RELATED RESPONSE:
The body has other ways to ramp up. The adrenals produce epinephrine, which increases heart and breathing rates. Blood pressure
rises; the legs and arms receive extra blood for energy.

LONG-TERM EFFECTS
New Conflicts: While well adapted to passing threats that require immediate action, our stress responses are less effective against constant, low-level annoyances, such as a pushy boss or a hectic daily commute.

Health problems: After years of chronic activation, stress responses can wear the body down. Some of the common symptoms include:
* impaired memory
* a weakened immune system
* high blood pressure
* stomach ulcers
* skin problems
* digestive difficulties
- pg 46

Forgive and Let Live
Of all the extra-ordinary events in the life of John Paul II, few can compare with the 21 minutes he spent in a white-walled cell in Rome's Rebibia prison. Just after Christmas, 1983, the pope visited Mehmet Ali Agca, the man who 30 months earlier had shot him in St. Peter's Square. He presented Agca with a silver rosary, and something else as well: his forgiveness.

It requires a Christ-like forbearance to pardon a would-be assasin, of course. But how many of us are ready to forgive an unfaithful lover, a sheming colleague or even the jerk who cut into the line at Krispy Kreme? Persistent unforgiveness is part of human nature, but is appears to work to the detriment not just of our spiritual well-being but our physical health as well.

...

Research suggests that forgiveness works in at least two ways. One is by reducing the stress of the state of unforgiveness, a potent mixture of bitterness, anger, hostility, hatred, resentment and fear (of being hurt of humiliated again). These have specific physiological consequences--such as increased blood pressure and hormonal changes--linked to cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and,
possibly, impaired neurological function and memory.

...

The other benefit of forgiveness is more subtle; it relates to research showing that people with strong social networks--of friends, neighbors, and family--tend to be healthier than loners.

I'm screwed. Heh.

Someone who nurses grudges and keeps track of every slight is obviously going to shed some relationships over the course of a
lifetime.

...

forgiveness turns out to be a surprisingly more complex process, according to many researchers. Worthington distinguishes what
he calls "decisional forgiveness"--a commitment to reconcile with the
perpetrator--from the more significant "emotional forgiveness," an internal state of acceptence. Forgiveness does not require us to forgo justice, or to make up to people we have every right to despise. Anger has its place in the panoply of human emotions, but it shouldn't become a way of life. "When I talk about forgiveness, I mean letting go, not excusing the other person or reconciling with them or condoning the behavior," says Ornish. "Just letting go
of your own suffering."

- pg 52

I can name at least one friend who could benefit from being able to forget the pains of the past. When I read this article I instantly thought of her. Heh, it's something I once had to do in a similarly big but quiet way. Otherwise they drag you down, make you miss out on perhaps something really enjoyable or promising right under your nose while you unknowingly have a chance there, whether it be a job opportunity, chance for a new good friend, a person to have a good relationship with, whatever. You miss out when you're [in a way rightfully] preoccupied with past pains for a long time.

My Lai massacre

I came across a link to this on one of the few political blogs I browse occassionally, and I thought this was worth passing on (It's very in depth in specific detail):

>> "An Introduction to the My Lai Courts-Martial" by Doug Linder

Knowing Yourself

This was brought up by one of my friends tonight, but in the context of wanting to know yourself. My question for the sake of analytical exploration / topic is this: How can you ever really know who you are?

Everyday we go through changes, every week, every year. Our own consciousness and our attitudes change constantly. One week you may be really compassionate towards someone, but then the next week something has happened and you change your outlook: you're hurt and say you become bitter or lose self-confidence. Perhaps even to where you denounce yourself with verbal self bashes aloud and / or in your head. And then perhaps it changes again a bit down the line as you start to forget the source of the pain and try move on, to where you're a little more upbeat.

So how do you know the face you look at in the mirror will always be the same? Is it by recognizing the patterns that you possibly follow in that never ending random interval cycle of periods of joy and then sadness and then joy again? Can you fully recognize that cycle, or just conclude that a simplified explaination is who you are?

I look in the mirror all the time and never know who I am, what my future is, or why my path in life has been what it has been. But perhaps that's just because of circumstance. Perhaps an answer could be figured out if you are able to maintain a constant state of mind / attitude. If you're depressed, it may be harder to know who you are because of everything else boggling through your mind; self-doubt, loneliness, and so on, while when your more confident, perhaps it makes it easier because you have a less "clouded" outlook. Or maybe the outlook of a depressed person is less "clouded".

I certainly used to think it gave me a more realistic (a.k.a. dreary) view of the world. Part of that school of thought still remains.

What defines our character is how we handle certain situations, certain problems. Perhaps that is how you can come to know who you are, by how you handle things, good and bad. You come to understand (if you get that far) both sides of your attitude - your faults and your charms - instead of just one like a depressed person or an overly optimistic person.

So that brings me to a tentative "yes you can know yourself" answer. The when and how is another matter. It's subjective to the individual, assuming everyone gets to a point where they really know themselves and are not just presuming to know who they are -- after all, others may see things differently about you than you do.

If you can, will isolating yourself make it easier? Or would that lonely road just prolong it, unless you become so enwraped in say a depression that that is all you ever experience or feel anymore. No joy. No happiness. Then you could perhaps say you know who you are. Because you've finally chosen your place, for one, whether it be consciously or subconsciously.

Would company aid in it? Wouldn't having fun with friends or feeling loved by a special somebody perhaps speed up the process. Or would it be no different than the previous example: To where its just based on where you finally choose to be: Alone, Out there, Paired Up, whatever?

It would seem that it doesn't really matter. And it sorta warps the conclusion of the previous question "Can you know yourself?", essentially by pointing out how it depends of circumstance, and on choice. And there are other fundamental questions about it: How do you know you're conclusion is right? As stated before, how do you know it's not just an assumption and actually a legitamite conclusion?

You can know who you are, but who you are is going to vary depending on how obstacles and your choices in life lead you, so how do you really know who you are, bottom line, no matter what happens, if what defines who you are keeps changing?

Because He Told You So?

This is the first paragraph of an MSNBC article on Iraqi leader Iyad Allawi's congress visit / PR op:

WASHINGTON - Standing beside Iraq's interim Prime
Minister Ayad Allawi, President Bush on Thursday denied that he has sugarcoated the situation in Iraq and said that elections there are possible as scheduled in January despite ongoing violence “because the prime minister told me they are."

Because he told you so? What the hell kind of childish justification is that? Even when I'm impartial that kind of reasoning is very faulty. Because he told me so. Ha. Yeah, some people could say all *insert ethnic group* are evil, and as justification go "because my dad told me so" or "because my best friend told me so". No way that can be a mistake (sarcasm).

"because the prime minister told me so"

...That's assuring.

'Cause I'm a 12.5, biotch!

Some days it sucks ass to still be in High School. Other days, like today, I'm so thankful that I am. Otherwise I'd miss out on the fun I have with or the feeling I have from just being around some fun people.

12.5 is what Glenn calls me since I'm a Senior "and a half". Kinda like how he calls Brenn "Uphill Ugly" (since his message board name is Uphill Meister). Cracks that I bet Orlando did not have to go through during his extra semester.

I was really wired 1st hour, mainly because of one dude showing me this flash cartoon called "Dude, Where's my lightsaber" -- without sound (so we did an MST3000-style mockery of it) and the visit I got from one of my favorite friends before Brenn was done fooling around downstairs ... hm, that's worded kinda wrong. Oh well.

First hour was so funny. So much so that eventually the teacher separated me and Brenn. While this other dude was singing songs from various flash cartoons, starting with the "Star Wars: Gangsta Rap". I was being a mild ass because of certain things I was saying. And my justification was "because I'm a 12.5, biotch" (hence the title).

At the end of first hour there was a great irony: I was reading this Wikipedia thing on Time Dilation - time speeding up and slowing down; perception of time - and I lost track of time reading it and the end of class came unexpectedly.

Second hour came and right infront of my 2nd hour this one girl got a little upity because this other girl was hugging "her man". I couldn't resist casually going "You'll get over it." Her response was predictable: "No, I would never get over it!"

Fourth hour was fine, my journalism teacher saw some of my "New Galaxy" drawings that I recently drew (and previously linked here), and brought up the idea of drawing a political cartoon for the paper. I have done some brainstorming on that but so far the conditions haven't been right psychologically for a good idea to manifest itself yet. Heh, is that better than going "but I'm brain dead"?

Lunch was good, of course. It's what makes the day worth while it seems. And the rest of the day was alright. It's not so bad being a 12.5 sometimes. Heh. Things happen for a reason right? Certain opportunities are available that wouldn't be or have been if I wasn't.

Feels like but isn't

It feels like 1. it should be Friday, but it's not, and 2. it feels like I've been working at Shop n' Save for a month, but it's barely been two weeks. I was scheduled with only a four hour shift last night/this morning, the first break from 6-8 hour shifts. Without any argument from me it turned into almost a 7 hour shift. Which was filled with angst because of some internal debates, concerns, etc.

The only problem which I have been just dead quiet about since last night is the incredible pain in my left upper arm. I pulled something there really really early into my shift last night (as in within the first 10 minutes) really bad. And when you stock shelves / do heavy lifting the whole night, that's a shit load of discomfort. Heh, I can barely lift it sometimes before a surging of pain makes me drop my arm back down, but yet I've still somehow managed without complaint. Hell, this isn't even a complaint, I'm just mentioning that I apparently pulled a muscle or something and endured. If anything I guess it's mild bragging. Heh.

So, yeah, got home after 5, got no sleep, which even without work is a fairly normal occurance. Heh. How I am even still able to keep my eyes open without any hint of tiredness though is beyond me. Screw it, I'm not going on any further about the day. It was a good, funny, and weird day... mostly because of my own mix of being hyper and really tired (and the ever changing balance of power within me among those two throughout the day).

Some news stories

It's been a while since I cited much from the news, which is far more important in the grand scheme of things than my petty life, so, here are some.

Back to the U.S.S.R.?

Spreading freedom is a Bush theme. But in Russia, guess who's defending democracy? The Communists

Back in the United States, George W. Bush was delivering thumping speeches to ecstatic crowds about how "the world is becoming more free" thanks to his administration's policies. But in central Moscow last week, on a narrow street opposite the general prosecutor's office, a handful of demonstrators took a different view of the status of freedom in Russia under Bush's close ally and friend Vladimir Putin. "Our society is now lurching towards a dictatorship," said one protester, Vladimir Ulas. "Putin is making a mockery of democracy." Who was this brave voice, defending principles that America holds dear? Ulas is first secretary of the Moscow city committee of the Communist Party.

Such is the ironic course of post-Soviet Russia these days. As President Putin continues to move his country away from democracy—putatively in an effort to stop future terrorist attacks—the Russian people's former oppressor, the Communist Party, is among the few voices still speaking out against his actions, if squeakily. Last week, in one of his boldest moves yet, Putin revived some of the cardinal structures of the failed Soviet Union. He announced that the Kremlin—not local voters—will start choosing governors by the end of the year. He also pledged to make changes to Russia's political system that will deny voters the power to directly choose representatives in Parliament.

Almost as noteworthy as Putin's power play was the fact that there was barely a peep of protest about it throughout Russia. Not even from the governors themselves. The tiny Moscow protest was the only known public demonstration—limited in size by a city order allowing only 20 demonstrators—and was largely ignored by Russia's increasingly restricted media. On TV and in newspapers, commentators talked bluntly about the need for a return to Soviet methods after a horrific series of terror attacks, especially the hostage takeover of a school in Beslan that left at least 338 children and adults dead. "This crisis presented a good opportunity," said Kremlin expert Olga Kryshtanovskaya. "The idea is to take some of the best methods of ruling a big country that the U.S.S.R. had to offer—a more authoritarian approach. And, at the same time, to have a market economy."

>> Full Article [Newsweek]

How Not to Win Muslim Allies

There are many in Europe who want to keep Turkey out of the EU because it is large, poor and, most important, because it is Muslim

Here's a quiz: over the past two years, which developing country has undertaken the most dramatic economic, political and social reforms in the world? Some hints: this country has deregulated its economy, simplified its tax code and brought its fiscal house in order, resulting in 8.2 percent growth this year and a 10 percent rise in productivity. It has passed nine packages of major reforms that have reduced the military's influence in government, enshrined political dissent and religious pluralism, passed strict laws against torture, abolished the death penalty and given substantial rights to a long-oppressed minority. The answer is Turkey. Even if it were not a Muslim country situated in the Middle East (sort of), its performance would be stunning. And yet, thanks to events last week, its long-sought quest to become a full member of the European Union may be thwarted.

The Turkish government's insistence on introducing a law making adultery a criminal offense might have derailed matters. Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has angrily pointed out that the issue of adultery is not part of the criteria laid out by the EU. He's right technically, but foolish politically. The reality is that there are many in Europe who want to keep Turkey out of the union because it is large, poor and, most important, because it is Muslim. The adultery law gives them a highly public issue to symbolize their fears.

But even if the adultery law passes, so what? European hysteria about this is absurd. Many are claiming that this represents the dangers of Islam in Europe. Have Europeans forgotten their own history? Adultery is banned in the Ten Commandments and was a criminal offense in almost every European country until very recently. Ireland abolished such a law in 1981, France in 1975, Italy in 1969. In America, 23 states still have such laws on the books. Don't get me wrong: I am opposed to the Turkish law. But to judge a developing country like Turkey by the standards of postmodern Europe circa 2004 seems to miss the point. If Turkey were a fully modernized society, it wouldn't need EU membership. Besides, were Turkey to become an EU member, the adultery law would quickly be null and void since the European courts would rule against it.

>> Full Article [Newsweek]

Some Thoughts

These are from an email forwarded to me:

Government Emblem
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the
government's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.

Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and"Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.

Cows
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.

Our Constitution
"They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and hell, we're not using it anymore."

If You're 18 - 34, This Draft Applies to _You_!

Came across this just a bit ago: New Kind of Draft Being Readied. Read it for yourself.

A Pig's Head and Societal Evolution

These are answers I made in a sociology quiz last week on the movie "Lord of the Flies", which I'm fairly proud of, so I'm posting them. Besides, it's my way of thinking, too, sometimes. Especially the second one.

What does the pig's head on the stick
represent/signify?
Superstition; humanity's propensity towards believing in mythological beings they image (teacher note: Sacrifice or offering to "beast")

Explain how this story is similar to the
evolution of our society.
It's evolution, backwards. They (the boys marooned on an island) went from civilized to representing older and less "civilized" cultures. They start out as a tentative democracy, then they split under internal rivalries and they end up starting to kill others. Though it also represents society evolution forwarding itself - a weak leader is defied by the strong, the strong bring about change, purge those that do not convert to their way, and then that new structure inevitably falls sooner of later, depending on circumstances. Ralph's democratic rule was short lived because weakness and a lack of success negotiations failed to keep Jack content with being second best.

1st _Real_ Meeting of Model U.N.

Joe came into Model U.N. with a mission. And that was to spread his conservative values/pro-Bush stance, and with very good points at times. I have no problem admitting that.

Joe also felt threatened since he was outnumbered. The rest are all moderates or liberals or independents (we do need balance in there). The topic was a three part one: Should we be in Iraq? Should the U.N. be involved? And should Bush be re-elected? It was a great meeting.

Now, I have this unique thing with Iraq because since late 2002 I knew we were going in no matter what anyway, and saw the whole weapons inspection crap as a smoke screen for us to be able to get the necessary military forces positioned for the attack.

This is Great...

From Mike's Message Board. It reminds me slightly of some of that Saturday humor.

Post Subject: I put on my robe and wizard
hat.

Penumbra:
I cast level 3 eroticism.

I cast level 99 penis of infinite.

Do I win?

Mike 'Nova' Tigas:
ROFLMAO!

I SAW THE TITLE AND I KNEW.

InVaDerSko0dge:
I can no longer resisit the pizza. I open the box
and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstatcy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds.

I was great. You loved it.

Spaliznad:
What in the......why the.....oh my god....I
don't..... :shock:

Mike 'Nova' Tigas:
My turnips listen for the soft cry of your live.
My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

If Bush were running against Jesus

Found this on Bartcop.com. Laughed my ass off.

The Power of a Misconception

On a daily basis we judge people we come across, less so on people we know unless they exhibit some sort of “odd” behavior that we become concerned about, sometimes mistakenly. And sometimes misconceptions can lead to life changing errors, believing someone is a horrible person when you’re really reading things the wrong way.

But, how can you know for sure? When your brain and gut is telling you your [mis]conception is the correct analysis, we can easily be deluded into believing fallacies. It’s a part of the human psyche that propaganda from all sides play on and intend on affecting.

Let’s say Bob has a problem with his VCR, and after a number of attempts to “fix” the problem, it seems hopeless, so, in frustration he throws the VCR away, not realizing the problem laid with the fact that it wasn’t plugged in. A simple example of a misconception, but, they can come in more complex forms.

Which brings me to what inspired me on this topic: The story of Japanese Army Second Lieutenant Hiroo Onada. For 29 years after the surrender of Japan in WWII he continued to operate on the island of Lubang in the Philippines, believing that the propaganda being fed to them (leaflets, Japanese on megaphones telling them the war was over) was false, and that it was just an attempt by the Americans to get more prisoners.

Huge misconception, spawned by distrust, and questioning the validity of people’s words. This leads others away from organized religion, or away from the government establishment. But, it can also be a great error. And it all has to do with what is perceived to be true, to be real.

How can you know for sure? Your gut can be wrong (though I have found that sometimes a connection can make that gut feeling more accurate in its predictions), fear can sometimes cause your subconscious to assume wrongly. Misconceptions can ruin friendships, relationships, relations with parents, all the way up to perhaps entire nations (such as Saudi Arabia, where Arab children are brought up being taught about how “evil” the west is).

The truth tends to always be a victim in a conflict, whether between individuals or nations and organizations (usually the first victim) and sometimes left to always remain hidden below the rubble in the aftermath due to various stories / propaganda from either side.

But, if you recognize that what you believe or feel is a misconception, should you not try and clear it up? Or is that feeling inside that its all a misconception the real misconception??

----
This was an old blog post from June 22nd, 2004

Religious Prejudice

Heh, last night I found out that one of my friend's mom does not like me at all (and she barely met me months ago) because of how I'm not a very religious person. How nice, being persecuted because I don't conform to any of the religions.

To me the religions seem to be a system of mind control that people are enticed to by the messages of hope and the feeling of belonging. I've long since learned how to think outside the box, by always questioning, whether it be what's "right" and "wrong", or whether it's "real" or fabricated mythology. It's like government, it's something I'm very "cynical" about, something I can't just blindly follow (at least not at the moment... I'm very back and forth on this, usually dependent on mood which determines the outlook and way I perceive things).

Apparently that way of looking at things somehow makes me an evil person.

But, that doesn't mean I don't necessarily believe that there isn't a god in some way shape or form. It's the only answer for how the universe went from nothing to something. Hell, the other day I was so concerned about that same friend that I was praying for something to cheer her up, to make her happier, which she deserves so much.

But looking down on me because I'm not part of the individual's religion seems like looking down on someone because of their skin color / ethnicity, it just seems ignorant and presumptuous. I mean, I don't really bash or look down on the people who follow the religions too much, I just don't agree with it, it's not for someone like me who doesn't trust many others' words or intents (outside of of course a small group of friends).

Antagonism... It's the price I keep paying for being different.

Float On

Victory! I now have a job. This is so freaking great. What makes it better was it came as a surprise to me.

It's got me really hyper -- along with not getting to bed until after 3 last night. Heh. Finally, something has turned around, and patience has finally paid off.

Ah, such a good day has come about. Kinda ironic and peculiar that it happened on the 3rd Anniversary of September 11th. I'm so happy. This is definitely an indicator that things are turning around. One of the biggest bits of stress on my mind lately other than the before mentioned down friends was the lack of success in the search for a job.

I mean, for the place I got hired at out by St. Charles I had applied for two months ago. So I had to clear up a discrepency with working at least the first half of Saturday night shifts -- Yes, it's a night job. Fucking awesome.

As for why I put "Float On" as the title, I dunno. Randomness made me since I ended up singing it a bit while loading up this blog I'd use that for a title. I'm in an unusually good mood, Okay!?!? Heh. I'm more hyper and buzzed than I usually am. GET USED TO IT

An image of the sun taken by SOHO.

...Uncertain...

*Angsty Rambling Alert*

Heh, I've kinda neglected blogging for a while. Mostly because of what I censor myself on, and how there's not much else to say.

Two of my friends are really depressed, and its just getting to me quite a bit sometimes. I mean, me and one of them had a long talk earlier tonight when I got her to her house after dropping off who would seem to be the more depressed friend, and, it was a little bit of relief, but, at the same time, it indicated that there's a long way to go... For both of them...

And it stems from people not caring. And from having trust and affection slammed right back in their face. Some people so much in such a way that it makes them completely skeptical about love, and about other people. I know I sometimes feel that way still, especially when the memories from my last relationship come to mind... hearing someone say they really like you, and then they completely cast you out of their life like a pile of garbage...... Or in other people's cases, being cheated on. Things of that sort.

Granted, since the summer I've come to loosen up quite a bit and trust people more with just casual things / not care what they think or not worry about if it may come back to bite me in the ass later. While part of me is always yearning for company, the kind of company that makes you feel complete. The kind of company that depressed people perceive as never going to happen... Even though I've got the voice of emotionless-reason in my head telling me how naive and foolish I'm being.

But, it's the only way to have a hope of having a life. Which, for me essentially boils down to: School, Blogging, Rare hang outs with friends after school, and Mike's Message Board. And hoping for more. You just gotta keep going, no matter how hard the pain, no matter how uncertain your future seems.. You just gotta keep your chin up. Just have to keep hoping, and enjoy what you have as best you can instead of downing yourself over what you're missing...or you'll miss so much more..

Even if it means rambling a little bit incoherantly into a blog to vent and retain some resemblance of sanity. Heh.

Bizarre News - 9-6-04

Browsed Yahoo! News a bit for some odd news stories, and found a few, including one already posted on Mike's message board.

Election Tie? Get Out Pingpong Balls
- whoever has the ball with the highest number wins! The Democratic Lottery!

Cup of urine a day keeps ailments at bay
- doesn't mean i'm gonna abide with that

Excerpt:
BANGKOK (AFP) - Drinking urine can eliminate sinus trouble, turn grey hair black and even cure cancer, a Thai academic said, citing a study of local Buddhists who engage in the unorthodox practice.

Cat naps at work can help boost productivity: British study
- it's really ok to sleep on the job.

Excerpt:
British companies should help employees doze off by installing beds in the workplace in a bid to increase productivity, a study published in The Guardian daily showed.

Bears Could Delay Start of School Year

Chinese women line up to test "female Viagra"
- they have problems getting up? 0_o

Phone Saves Man's Life in Crossbow Attack
- What luck

Excerpt:
When Michael Brown was shot with a crossbow he couldn't use his cell phone to call for help. But he didn't need to — his handset stopped the bolt and likely saved his life.

Typical Meaningless Holiday, Typical Rambling

I know Labor Day itself represents something, but to me, it feels like a regular Sunday -- as in boring, and long, everything this Sunday wasn't (thank god). Ever since noon I've felt like going back to bed, I guess it might be because of these mild remnants of my cold or whatever I've got (either that or its just laying dormant for a bit).

And thats when I'm not even the one who is really ill... Helplessness, yet again. Which means I'm worrying a bit, wishing she felt better instead of worse. Eh, can only hope that over time it gets better.

Heh, checked Tigas' deviantart gallery to see his stuff for the Japanese Festival -- interestingly enough, almost all of the pictures are of all these little kids. Hmm, wonder what that could mean 0_o Heh, I'm just kidding.

It feels nice out. It's nice and cool. At least, except for if you're running a fever, or your body temperature tolerance is different (like how our summers probably feel like the surface of the sun to people from the cold polar regions).. heh, like mine, being able to handle cold temperatures fairly well (at least until freezing point, depending on winds).

Heh, just checked Fox News website and found an article about how Pakistan says we aren't close to nabbing Bin Laden (as though it really matters when he's out of the picture until he strikes big again). >> Article. Heh. I don't know if they're being honest or not. The military dictator Musharif's an allied leader, but Pakistan and probably our own intel people weren't very pleased when the White House leaked out that they had an Al Qaeda double agent now - blowing his cover and the allied intel community the information was going to.

On a related note one of the American "vigilantes" on trial in Afghanistan claims he almost had Bin Laden. >> Article.

And another article, this one about how the terrorists not only can beat our security -- the major ones can even beat our Justice system

"There's been a tendency of the Justice Department to act overly aggressively, to hold news conferences, to seek headlines, but when the facts come out they are often shown to be exaggerated," said David Cole, a Georgetown University law professor and frequent critic of Bush administration counterterrorism policies.

oh wait, thats just Aschroft's cronies beating themselves. My bad.

exaggerated facts, pfft, as though that's anything unusual from a government seeking approval from the people they preside over.

According to the latest available figures, the Justice Department since Sept. 11, 2001 has charged more than 310 people in terrorism-related cases and won 179 convictions -- many for such relatively minor infractions as document and credit card fraud and immigration violations.

Hell, you could make yourself look better by hoarding up illegal aliens from Mexico and convict them for immigration violations and calling their trials "terrorism-related cases". 131 have gone free, and how many of the "many" convictions are minor infractions? And whose to say in all honesty that the minor infractions was the only indication, they just may not have been able to get the necessary facts for convictions on actual terrorist conspiracies, despite the Patriot Act supposedly helping them there. Oh my. -- well, keep in mind it was 19 who hit on 9/11 and 2 for the 2 Russian airliners that went down recently, so even nabbing a small number of them is critical -- and not being able to convict a small number of them conversely is quite a failure if they prove to be the deciding factor of an attack.
>> Topic Source Article

[after an hour long pause I realize the blog post is still up to be finished] 7:16 - oops, Mike threw me a link to his new message board and I've been browsing and posting on it since. My bad.

Heh, might as well post since I've lost track of the original rambling anyway.
And hope that one of my friends gets well soon.

Extinctionism? What the crap!?

I was browsing a few blogs and found a link to this in a comments thread. It is really bizarre -- Extinctionism.You have to read it for yourself, I'm not gonna try and describe it, it'd probably turn into an incoherant rambling.

Slight Wake Up Rambling / Reminiscing

Heh, woke up to find out that I had jinxed my own sinus', which had been quiet the last two days for the most part.

It's probably going to be a dull holiday, like they all usually are. Oh well, the last two days have been great. Makes me smile occassionally to think back on the last two days. I'm the kind of person who rarely has much company, so I tend to enjoy what I can, while I can. Heh, it was just so much fun. So uplifting for the most part. And I'm kinda wondering how one of the others' are doing.

I give a damn while others don't, even if the situation was reversed, even after all that has happened in the last few years to show how painful that position is, heh, especially from experiences within the last four or five months.. Makes it kinda difficult to be somewhat compassionate to others. But there is a complication in this instance that makes it kinda awkward I suppose.

----

"What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet?"
- Tom Galloway

Short post

I'm stalling going to bed. Heh. I do that too much for some reason... Like the other night:

NR363avs (11:57:16 PM): i don't frankly know why i'm even awake still
HTMLjedi (11:57:21 PM): lol
HTMLjedi (11:57:24 PM): I'm somewhere there.

Blegh, forget stalling..

A New Day

A new day has come. And like the day before I find that I am battling myself. Divided over delusions of hope and the lonely reality I perceive. Divided over the idea of becoming more than what I am and remaining what I am. Action must be taken, but within me there are advocates of complacency, of isolationism if you will, that dominate far too much sometimes.

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that they can train Americans to stand by the edge of a large, water filled tank and feed them fish, after only a week in captivity?
- Adam Ferguson

Just some Notes...

I read a couple things online and watched some programming on tv that brought about some questions and some points that I can not ignore.

- 9-11 was committed by Bin Laden, and he's still out there somewhere. Bush didn't mention him once in his speech.

- 9-11 was not a triumph, it was a massive security failure and intelligence fuck up and a crisis for the nation. Using that as your greatest moment -- a crisis that you could not prevent, is profoundly disturbing. Mostly because of how it's working on people.

- The Iraq war has not made us safer. That would be like saying because the Russians sent troops into Chechnya or the Israelis sent troops into the West Bank that they are safer. One day our national self delusion about "safety" and "security" post 9-11 is going to burst, it is inevitable. George W. Bush is damn lucky it hasn't yet. This arrogance that we are invulnerable because we have reservists and guardsmen in Iraq is nonsense, and its going to take another 9-11 style event or worse to get people to wake up.

- Adolph Hitler once made the mistake of invading Russia before he had secured the western front by defeating Great Britain. That was the greatest military blunder in history many would argue. Sounds a bit like our War on Terror - went after Bin Laden, then without getting him we stormed into Iraq, leaving both to become a greater problem over time...

Satellite image of Hurricane Frances. 1,000 miles across, its going to be the first time in 50 years that two major hurricanes have hit Florida in such a short period of time (if I heard right).
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Ventings & brief ramble on War / Election

This has been a crappy day for the most part. It's Friday, and I have no where to be this evening, that was the first thing to bother me. Then came a moment at lunch where I should have said something in response to a comment someone else made about themself that is false, but I didn't, and I got fucking pissed at myself for it. I still partially wish I would've said something, even if it would have been misconstrued (or perhaps taken the way it really was meant O_o), instead of keeping my mouth shut out of discomfort. And then there is this tugging feeling coming from my heart, adding to the problems (among other items I won't go into and list).

The perfect relief to what I had to vent about, which therefore was unexpected, was to come across my old friend Darius during my walk home. He disappeared a year ago or so, along with Dusty, and apparently they both just came back this week. Heh. It was nice. Reminded me of the first semester of my Jr. year where in Ms. Munro's world history class the three of us were having way too much fun, so much so that she seperated us to three different corners of the room... but that didn't stop us. Heh, those were great times.

Turned the news on to hear sobering news about the Russian school standoff, which I had read about 3rd hour and the speculation that over a hundred were dead, to find that it was a definite: At least 120 dead. More casualties to the rebels of unknown origin (its been assumed that they're Chechen), who are one of many terrorist groups in the world that need to be routed (but to be realistic they can't all be confirmed as obliterated, and there will always be people will grievances who go to such extremes -- especially as the world population increases).

I am back to undecided in the election race, leaning unfortunately towards Bush. There are good reasons to vote for him, a lot of logic behind some of them, I mean what I saw of his speech last night was pretty good for political campaign bullshit to remain in the White House (heh, I turned on Family Guy when it started before Bush's speech ended), and, one that came up at lunch is how he is a confirmed leader, maybe not the best but he's been tested.

It's a typical time of war decision -- either place confidence in whose been in charge thus far or hand the reigns to someone with no familiarity to how it is all run and the details of the global situation exclusive to within the walls of the White House. And if someone new comes in, and they mess things up, it'll mean the lives of more people our age.

There's also the argument of how Senators lack the know how of executive office, which I partly agree with. Dean was a Governor, and he would have been a more formidable candidate for the Dems rather than Herman Munster.

Still, part of me wants to go with that "Anybody but Bush" because of how much he reminds me of Jim when I hear him and look at him. But, again, thats another bias, and its not really a very logical reason, either. But, then there's the blandness and lack of Charisma attributed to Kerry. They shouldn't matter but to many they do, without them even realizing it. We're choosing someone to run the country, not someone to talk to every day or two (especially Bush with how few press conferences he's had as president), or, since some people base it on looks -- Someone to hook up with. In otherwords, ignoring the challenger because of a dislike/emotional bias towards the incumbant isn't what I'd consider the best reason... but part of me does that anyway.

Which means I'm back to square one, for probably the fourth time in the last couple of months: Undecided, with constant questioning keeping me from really choosing who to go with. I want to stay with Kerry under the reasoning that I'd rather risk a new Commander in Chief to get rid of one that I don't think is fighting the war right (terrorists are in many more locations than Iraq or Afghanistan... though we've made it easy to locate them since we've caused them to flock to Iraq.).

The militarist in me wants to see more of a broader campaign, instead of placing all of our eggs in one basket as we have by overstretching the military with our gargantuan force in Iraq (gargantuan by today's standard of troop strength, at least)... not to mention aren't a good portion of our troops in Iraq Reservists and Guardsmen, and not regular Army or Special Forces? And under Kerry there may be even less action in the war than there is today. And as the Russian school incident, as well as their airline bombings, and the fighting last month in Ingushetia that killed 90 have at least taight Russia: You may not want a fight, but they do, and civilians are fair game / primary targets.

...

And I just completely lost all train of thought. Heh. That was funny. Eh...

*EDITED OUT*

I think I'm gonna end the post here, to be honest. I need to recollect my thoughts as best I can, and try and get something done. I need to turn off my mind, at least on where they're at right now. Besides, I'm picking up steam with the first part of "New Galaxy". I've got a beginning, and potentially an ending for at least the first small Part of it... but I doubt I could stretch that amount to over forty pages (if that even). And, I still need to find a way to work in other characters in a somewhat dramatic / convenient way.

Reversion after last post

From Slate.msn's cartoon archive. It seems so true. Someone named Sack from the Star Tribune drew this. This really fits the criticism of both conventions... and I know I never said much about the Dem convention because I was hella lazy then - it was the Summer and I had no time constraints, no urge to blog about much of it -- except for mainly the whole Balloons incident. Heh. So, the Dem convention didn't get the same kind of attention here, and it had nothing to do with biases on that, it was about laziness.

And after that rant earlier and conversation with Joe it allowed the more impartial part of me to come back in. The me that is Independent, that doesn't (at least for the next fifteen minutes) indulge in naive hopes of happiness. Sometimes I see these huge biases, and my mind works around them, reaclamating me to the realistic way I usually look at things.

NR363avs (3:57:47 PM): my mind's been warped so much in the last few years that I question too much, and don't really trust practically anyone who I don't know

----

Semi related note: One thing I like that is not exclusive to one party is good speech writing. Both parties have it (there wouldn't be two parties still if they didn't). Even if I don't agree with the message or blatant lies I can't really deny a well written speech its dues at effectiveness; as well as the craftsmanship it takes for a writer to make it convincing, grabbing, and inspiring, even if the messages are, again, comprised of blatant lies or half lies.

Good speech writing, like any good piece of propoganda, plays on peoples gullibility -- or at least tries to.

GOP Con

GOP Convention (after 3 days) / lack of trust in politicians mini rant

Cardsfan6734 (2:56:34 PM): 4 more years, bush tonight!
NR363avs (2:57:24 PM): I can just picture you foaming at the mouth over tonights event.

Interesting bits:
1 - McCain, doing severe ass kissing in the hopes of running for President probably in 2008 (party is probably forcing him to do this or he will not be allowed as a candidate then)

2 - Juliani (or however it's spelled), a very respectful man, playing on the emotions of 9/11... must... resist... urge... to rant about... how those emotions... were taken advantage of...

3 - Schwarzennegar (or however it's spelled), whose Daddy was a Nazi, and who looks like he's so pumped up on steroids that his "muscles" are going to fucking explode, spoke about how he became a Republican (well, fascism is on the right side of the spectrum). What a pawn, just like the rest. Either he's getting generous donations for this or he's got some ulterior motive for somewhere down the line (these are politicians after all, most of them no doubt plan ahead).

Cardsfan6734 (3:18:02 PM): "dont be an economic girlie man"

4 - Ron Silver, eh, got no bad blood with him, didn't hear his speech.

5 - The pro-Bush tv media having collective orgasms on every network with every bullshit filled speech full of more god damn optimism that is so fake that it's killing me of laughter, while during the Dem convention they were no where near as objective and more critical.

6 - The Bush Sluts.. erm, I mean Twins, making an attempt at humor that was sooooo bad. If you wanted a comedy act you should've put Pat Robertson on the stand instead.

7 - Zell Miller. I can't hate the guy, no matter how much I may want to. He's an insider from the Dems. I'll say this, though, if he were Republican and he was defecting to the Dems at their Convention, FOX NEWS would have Ann Coulter on the network day and night going "This is Treason!" The media would have a smear campaign along the lines of the one they laid down against Richard Clarke during the 9/11 commission hearings. My initial though when I hear or see a picture of Zell is "Traitor", but, even though he's just preparing himself for his post-Senatorial lobbyist career, in which he'll need good terms with the GOP to be able to do anything with the majority's support, he may have some words of truth.

8 - Dick Cheney, the Representative of Halliburton, who is getting special treatment with no contest contracts in Iraq and continued backing down from the Pentagon on discrepencies about service costs or something to that effect. Also the highest ranking Iraq-obsessed Neocon in the administration. So he goes on a crusade against Kerry. Incredibly Predictable.

9 - The platform of the campaign, which does not express the viewpoints of many of the speakers.

10 - Laura Bush, she's just a political tool, just like any politicians trophy wife. Its sad to see that.

I have this strong gut feeling that this election is rigged. There is no way to know for sure that it is or isn't, unless you're gullible enough to put trust and faith into the establishment and the two parties that rule it in the "interests of the people".

I'm not the most Pro-Dem guy out there, but to me its a matter of Lesser of Two Evils, even though I know "Evil" isn't the most appropriate word -- don't blame me, blame the assfucker who developed that phrase. Heh, and other times I'm very Pro-Dem. Mainly when it comes to wanting Bush out.

*EDITED OUT*

You know what, this political rant, which is on the verge of becoming soooo much larger and encompasing more that I am getting a huge headache. So, instead, I'm out of here...

Yankees Lose 22 - 0

Yankees got their asses kicked soooooo bad last night. This is the greatest upset EVER! And boy is it an ass kicking that I for one am savoring. Take that, New York.
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The "Compassionate Conservatives"

From Slate.msn.com's archive of political cartoons. This one also appeared in the STL post today. Cartoon by Mike Keefe of the Denver Post.
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